Having Difficulty Attracting a Partner?
Have you ever felt mesmerized by a man?Maybe he reminded you of someone. Maybe he was exactly your “type.” Maybe there was something about him that just lured you in, and you didn’t know why.
He may not have been all that handsome, or all that charming or even all that “smooth.” Maybe none of the “usual” characteristics that would attract you were there, but you couldn’t help yourself. You felt yourself being drawn to him and wanting to be around him. You allowed yourself to daydream about him, and sometimes you wondered what in the world you saw in him. It was almost some kind of strange, magical force that was pulling you in.
You imagine and fantasize…
You are the mysterious, magnetic woman he wants to be near. You make him nervous. He spends his days thinking of ways he can contact you, or ask you out, or (if he is already dating you) spend an evening looking deeply into your eyes and caressing you.
There are reasons why men and women fall in love. The problem is, that we women don’t really understand or know why a man falls in love with us. We think we know, but we are wrong so often.
When we find ourselves drawn to a man, we think we need to let him know we’re interested somehow, or we need to make the first move if he’s not doing it himself. Or if he’s already dating us, we look for ways to please him and impress him, like buying him cards and gifts, or making him gourmet dinners or being extra passionate in the bedroom.
Why? Because we come off as desperate, or like we’re chasing him (because we are.)
❤️ Meanwhile, all it took was a look, a gesture, something you said that would have gotten his attention. If only you knew how to trigger that romantic impulse in him…
TRYING…
I can tell you from experience… when we “try hard” to seduce or attract someone, we often activate patterns that have the opposite effect of what we desire.
Here are some common ways women (and people in general) might try too hard, and how these efforts can backfire:
1. Performing Rather than Being
When you put on a “show” or act out what you think someone wants to see, you disconnect from your own authenticity. This performance might include exaggerated flirtatiousness, playing extra “hard to get,” or adopting a persona you believe is more desirable.
The unintended result? The real “you” gets hidden, and true resonance can’t happen… leaving both people feeling unsatisfied or disconnected.
2. Over-Giving or Over-Accommodating
Trying to seduce by constantly agreeing, being overly helpful, or downplaying your own needs can smother the possibility for authentic polarity. True attraction thrives on a dance between giving and receiving. When you’re always bending over backward, you can lose touch with your needs and desires, which actually dilutes your magnetism.
3. Hiding Feelings in Order to “Be Cool”
Playing it “cool” or withholding feelings in hopes of appearing mysterious or independent often backfires. While it’s natural to want to seem confident, real confidence comes from revealing your genuine feelings and being willing to be seen. When you hide your deeper yearnings or vulnerabilities, it makes connection harder… not easier.
4. Seeking Validation Instead of Appreciation
There’s a difference between genuinely appreciating someone and seeking their approval to fill a gap inside. When seduction comes from a need for validation (“If he likes me, then I’m okay”), it often pushes the other person away. True passion ignites when you’re already rooted in self-love and appreciation, and then express interest from that place.
5. Manipulation or Game-Playing
Techniques like jealousy games, feigned disinterest, or emotional unavailability can temporarily generate attention, but rarely lead to heartfelt, lasting connection. People can sense when they’re being manipulated, and this erodes trust and attraction over time.
6. Suppressing Your True Desires
Sometimes, women try to seduce by pretending to want what they think the man wants, rather than expressing their own authentic desires… whether that’s for closeness, adventure, or simply slowing things down. This can create confusion and stifle intimacy.
What to Do Instead:
All lasting attraction is rooted in authenticity. The most magnetic thing you can do is show up as you… expressing your thoughts, feelings, and desires openly, without controlling the outcome. This doesn’t mean “baring all” at once or oversharing, but rather allowing the real you to be seen, moment by moment.
❤️ Try it… you may just be surprised of what you have… expected or assumed … would happen.
When you stop trying to seduce and instead focus on simply being… open, present, and engaged with your own aliveness… you invite a man (or anyone) to connect with the real, vibrant core of who you are. That’s where genuine attraction, intimacy, and passion are born and nurtured.
❤️ If you want, I can guide you through a practice for dropping performance and connecting to true essence in romantic situations. Let me know if you’d like to explore that further.
