The Predator
~When I write about this… I write with hands shaking and my tummy trembling. As I am aware of how much the Predator within eats away at my creative power and devours my energy for revealing my true desires. To myself and to this big, bad world. ~
I am on a journey. Deeper and deeper within and it is terrifying and full of the unknown. I feel vulnerable. Naked. I want to hide my shame. Hide my shine. ✨ From the critics. Here’s the thing… I have realized that I view every single person in this world as a critic. Isnt that just wild?!? How have I not realized this!? How have I been hiding myself and my creative power from even myself for so long? I’ve been… really good at it. Until now.
What’s changing? Me!! My whole internal environment is transforming and so the dark shadows have come under the microscope of what “doesn’t fit” anymore in my self beliefs.
This is what true transformations look like.. feel like. A bit overwhelming and freakkkking incredible.
I’ve been reading Women Who Run with the Wolves, and as described by the author Clarissa Pinkola Estés’, Bluebeard represents an inner predator or "demonic animus" within the human psyche that threatens to destroy creativity and vitality. I highly recommend reading the story here: Bluebeard
The idea of the predator is…
…about the naive parts of us, the blueberry-eyed maiden as Clarissa describes us, and how there are predators in this world that will take advantage of our Rom-Com ideals of men and relationships. There is also the inner predator in our psyche that will always try to undermine us when we need to change. If you look at all the characters in this story, imagine they are all parts of you and Bluebeard is the predator in the psyche. The room is our dreams and goals that we crush by telling ourselves we haven’t got time… (it’s not good enough.. we are a fraud… no one will appreciate our efforts.. who do we think we are!?/Telling and teaching this.. Sound Familiar?) … by knowing what each part of our psyche is doing and when one part of us is robbing us of our creativity and aliveness. Our shine ✨
Clarissa says when women open doors to these places and explore the carnage there they most often find they have been allowing the assassination of their most crucial dreams, goals and hopes. If we can see the truth in everything, if we can hold it in our consciousness then we can take action against the matter. That is the key. It’s about coming into balance so that we can be authentic with everything we do and we can have clear boundaries.
I put my website out to the world. I hit publish. And with that tap I unraveled a whole roll of predators.. teeth glistening in the shadows. Hungry.
In our (the Hendricks and I) work, what often happens is this: the moment you become more visible, an old survival pattern wakes up. The system interprets exposure as danger. So what we may be calling our Predator is also another word for a fear pattern surfacing when we stepped into visibility. Into the light. By putting my website out into the world.
My materials point repeatedly to noticing how fear shows up in the body, identifying the pattern, and returning to flow through breath, movement, and awareness rather than fighting the experience:
Here’s an example of how I’d work with it:
Name the event simply.
“I published my website.”
Name the reaction without drama.
“Then a fear of not being good enough feeling appeared in me.”
Get concrete in the body.
Ask yourself:
Where do I feel this in my body?
Is it fight, flee, freeze, or faint?
What happens to my breath when I imagine people seeing me? - I want to hide. 🙈
This is very much in line with the body-centered approach and the “4 expressions of fear” materials that I also teach.
Shift from story to discovery.
Instead of “Something bad is happening,” try:
“What just happened?”
“How am I experiencing that, and where?”
“What do I really want?” -I want to be seen!
“What’s the simplest action I can take?” -I can look up, take a deep breath, and straighten my shoulders and back and look at someone.
✨ Those are core discovery questions in the Body Intelligence materials that I teach.
I’ll add..
“How am I holding my creative power back?”
“How can I have the courage and strength to reveal these fears within to myself? … and love them.”
Look for upper limiting.
Visibility often triggers an Upper Limit Problem: you expand, then an old mechanism tries to pull you back into the familiar. I teach making friends with upper limit patterns rather than treating them as enemies.
So the “predator” is an internalized vigilance that says, “If I am seen, I am unsafe.” That’s a profound piece of learning. Our conscious is focusing the light of our awareness and aligning that within. Our unconscious patterns become conscious. We reveal our own predators and/or fears that were devouring our creativity, our power, and our ability to know what we want… and what we do not want.
❤️ Diary Of A Relationship Coach
Here is a reading on YouTube for those wanting to watch: