The Happiness Problem…
Dismantling the Foundation of the Upper Limit Problem
First of all… in life coaching supports, our activities in the world occur in four main zones.
The Zone of Incompetence: this zone is made up of all of the activities that we are not good at. Others can do them a lot better! Delegate them to someone else. Or find some creative way to avoid doing them. Example: a man setting up a technical device that took him four hours to do. The kid next door.. could have done it in less than one hour and would have enjoyed doing it. The man lost hundreds of dollars by spending time doing the set up rather than his consulting.
The Zone of Competence: this zone is full of activities that we are good at but others can do them just as well. Successful people often discover that they expend far too much time and energy in this zone. It’s called the Competence Trap. People can become ill when they stay in this area for too long. Literally. Example: a woman working at a business who was good at organizing and setting things up for people. When asked “what would you really like to be doing if money and job description was not an issue” she came to a sudden conclusion that it would not be working at the company at all! Instead, it was completing an environmental project that she was obsessed with. 🤩 She was making herself ill with the other job and within a few weeks of delegating the organizing duties to others she was seeing her symptoms clear up of chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia.
The Zone of Excellence: in this zone, it is comprised of activities that you do extremely well. You make a good living in your Zone of Excellence. For successful people, this zone is a seductive and even dangerous trap. To remain in this zone is to hobble yourself from taking the leap into your Zone of Genius. This is where your own addiction to comfort wants you to stay. Also.. it’s where your family, friends, and organization wants you to stay. Why? You’re reliable there. You supply and provide a steady stream of all the things these people thrive on. However, a deep, sacred part of you will wither and die if you stay inside your Zone of Excellence.
The Zone of Genius: finally! This zone includes activities that you are uniquely suited to do. They draw upon your special gifts and strengths. Liberating and expressing your natural genius is your ultimate path to success and life satisfaction! Your Zone of Genius beckons you with increasingly strong calls as you go through your life. Its name is The Call to Genius. To heed this call, make sure to move gently and gracefully into your Zone of Genius. Example: An older man who had resisted this call for many years… because the pressure of his family and his business to not be able to afford to have him take off a few months necessary to work on his new idea. Even if it’s an hour a day to spend time in your Genius.. he was told, it will be enough to start.
This is a part of my Zone of Genius and I experience intense joy and time flies by when I am writing on these topics. I tend to give info away for free and I believe that is part of my purpose. To show people the tools of how to break the chains of their own doing and to taste freedom. In their own unique Zones of Genius.
Making the Leap
There is something you should know about the Upper Limit Problem: when you attain higher levels of success, you often create personal dramas in your life that cloud your world with unhappiness and prevent you from enhanced success. This is the Upper Limit Problem at work. And.. what this post is all about ..🤭
If you make money, your Upper Limit Problem may kick in and create a situation that causes unhappiness, ill health, or something else that blocks your enjoyment of your enhanced money supply. If you meet or marry the love partner of your dreams, the Upper Limit Problem may kick in and cause setbacks in your financial life. Basically, we have a tendency to follow big leaps forward in our success with big mess ups. These mess ups rubber band us back to where we were before or sometimes some place worse.
Sound familiar? Of course.. we have all had these experiences.
What actually Triggers the Upper Limit Problem?
The false foundation of the Upper Limit Problem is a set of four hidden barriers based on fear and false belief.
The Four Hidden Barriers all have something in common: although they seem true and real, they are based on beliefs about ourselves that are neither true nor real. The fact that we take them in as real and true is the barrier holding us back. We take them as real and true until we shine the light of awareness on them. Making the barriers dissolve and we are free.
Think ultimate liberation. You will remember it forever.
But first… these false beliefs run a success-limiting, soul-sucking mantra in our minds. Saying… “I cannot expand to my full potential because…..”
In financial wealth, our Upper Limit mantra says… “I cannot expand to my full wealth potential because…”
And in relationships, our Upper Limit mantra says…”I cannot enjoy abundant love and relationship harmony because…..”
This is why…
Hidden Barriers no. 1: Feeling Fundamentally Flawed
The mantra for this goes something like … I cannot expand to my full creative genius because something is fundamentally wrong with me.
Hidden Barrier no. 2: Disloyalty and Abandonment
The mantra for this goes through our subconscious like… I cannot expand to my full success because it would cause me to end up all alone, be disloyal to my roots, and leave behind people from my past.
Hidden Barrier no. 3: Believing that More Success Brings a Bigger Burden
This old belief creates a mantra that has a grip on you stating… I can’t expand to my highest potential because Id be an even bigger burden than I am now.
Hidden Barrier no. 4: The Crime of Outshining
The crime of unconscious mantra speaks like this … I must not expand to my fullest success, because if I did I would outshine ___ and make them look or feel bad.
It’s common for people to have more than one hidden barrier.
When you shine the light of awareness on false foundations that hold up the Upper Limit Problem in place, they disappear. Then you are free to soar, explore, and rest at home in a no-limits zone of your ultimate success. -Gay Hendricks
Now you know and understand the basics of your Upper Limit Problem and where its root structure is buried. Your Upper Limit Problem lives in the moment by moment interactions you have with yourself and the people around you. Focus your keen attention on the specific aspects of your daily life. You’ll find liberation and amazement. You’ll find how to spot out the ULP in your daily life.
🙏 I am in gratitude for you all and hope you received some deeper meaning in these tools. Something that allowed you to stop and presence. An item that allowed you to feel. Some aspect that rang a bell 🔔 in your heart ♥️
Warmly and with so much appreciation,
Diary of a Relationship Coach
-feel free to ask a question or receive some feedback on a current issue that you are struggling with.
I definitely relate to barrier 4, this makes me think of a Matthew Mconaughey quote where he says he struggled to “master the art of running down hill,” and explained that whenever things were going easy in his life, he didn’t know how to flow with it and would unknowingly slow his own momentum.
This was such a good post!